So umm…This movie actually exists. A Christian found footage horror film about a demonic pornographic magazine. (Yep you read that right) And I watched it so you don’t have to.
The movie starts off with a former priest, known only as Chris talks about the footage found in a tape which was filmed by our main characters. He mentions the dangers of it and how he does not want it to come back to his family and harm it. After that, as you would expect we cut to the start of the tape where two guys are filming each other going to pick up their other friend named Nicky.
And this is where the cringe intensifies. His parents overhear them talk about something that will shake them to their core. Something so horrible and terrifying that they have to resort to starting an intervention and a family prayer. What was that horrible thing? He has a crush on a girl. DUM DUM DUUM. And not only that, that girl will be at the lock in that they will be attending too which is in the church and as his mother says “Christians get pregnant too”.
After that painful scene, the three friends drive away to the church. While driving they have this odd conversation about how the guy that’s filming has a weird obsession with digging up trash. This leads them to examine a dumpster where they find a dirty magazine which they decide to take to the church meeting. One of them decides to sneak it into Nicky’s backpack.
They finally arrive in the church where Nick and Jessica finally get close to each other and are getting comfortable. Jessica tries to get some snacks from his backpack and gets the shock of her lifetime. She finds the horrific dirty magazine. Shocked she tells the pastor who gives them “the talk” about how horrible this is and how it ruins families. They decide to burn the magazine and return to the event, however, they find that the horrible magazine is somehow back. And not only that, everyone else that was in the church is gone and they are all alone with a mysterious unseen presence haunting them.
Gosh, I’ve seen some bad movies but this was off the charts. I can’t really talk bad about the overall message, yes it was cringy and insanely overexaggerated but who am I to judge? It’s not the worst thing to try and stop kids from watching pornography at a young age but this movie made it seem like everyone that even looks at something like that is doomed. There was even one scene with a man discussing how looking at pornography made him lose everything he loved and how each time he watches it now he sees some presence near the end of his line of sight.
Their entire approach to the subject was horrible. They could have made it into a psychological horror where a character loses his sanity from watching too much porn and it would have been much better. But then again if the acting and camerawork were as bad as it was in this film it would not have helped at all. At least with a found footage horror, they can use the defense that it was just a random teenager filming it.
But at the end of the day, I didn’t really hate the movie. I enjoyed watching it, granted that was because I found myself laughing and cringing for most of the movie. Especially a scene near the end where some guy just randomly walks into the shot and immediately runs back. The fact that they did not even bother to reshoot that was hilarious.
Funny enough the website for the movie is now a clipart downloading website and most of the traces of the film are gone but it’s pretty easy to find it. That being said I won’t post it here out of respect for the studio.
Final verdict: 4/10
(Fun fact: excluding this sentence, the full review of the movie was 666 words which I did not plan on)