I’ve always wanted to write something. I’m not really good at it and I have no lessons in writing or anything but that does not mean that I won’t give it a try :). That being said I don’t really expect it to be good or anything but I am still satisfied with the result and I’d love to hear what you thought about it.
It was just another Sunday night. I was coming home from another party when I encountered a weird store. Normally my curiosity got the better of me and I ventured inside. It was the only store open at this time of night so I had to go in. It looked as if it was a regular apothecary. Not really my thing so I quickly made my way to the exit. Before I could go through the door though, I heard someone speak my name.
- Leaving so soon?
A woman came out from the back, blonde, in her late fifties but still very captivating.
- Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t really need any medicine I just came here by mistake.
- Oh, no, no, no. No one comes here by mistake my dear child. They are lost yes but not in the way that you would think. They, much like you seek to find something meaningful. You have a hole in your soul you see and you desperately seek to fill it. You want to experience something new, something that will get you excited, something different. You pretend to enjoy going out and getting wasted, putting on a facade to your friends that you enjoy it but deep down inside you feel nothing: A dark and empty void that keeps growing and expanding more and more as time passes. You keep thinking that maybe this or that will invigorate you in some way, enough to make you not loathe every single moment of your life. Now I can’t help you with that unless you actually want help that is…
- I’ve tried every pill in the book lady, and off it. I’ve fucked all of those fake ass Instagram models and movie stars. It’s not that I can’t fill it, there’s nothing worth filling it with. So anything that you think you can offer me I’ve already been tired of for a while.
- You can drop the bad boy act with me, Kevin, I can see through you. You are not a hungry wolf looking for his prey. A lost puppy is more like it desperately seeking for something to comfort it. I can help you with that. Take this. If you end up liking it come back and visit me again. I’ll have some more for you then. All you need to do is swallow your pride and you’ll experience wonders that very few have only felt before.
It couldn’t be any worse than the poison that I’ve been ingesting anyways so it’s not like I have something to lose. Looking back I should have known something was wrong when she seemed to know so much about me, as a matter of fact, I don’t even remember telling her my name. But I was too busy being romanticized by her words. And at that moment I knew of nothing else that could ease my suffering.
It was some sort of mushroom. I’ve never seen anything like it before. The colors almost seemed otherworldly, it completely mesmerized me. It almost seemed like it was speaking to me, whispering something in my ears that I could not make out. I put it in my pocket and walked away. She didn’t say anything. She only let out a faint smile and moved on.
I was uneasy for the remainder of my walk home. I’m usually used to the weird people that I come across at 3 in the morning but that night was different. They all seemed to just stare at me stopping dead in their track when I passed them by. Granted it might have been because I was constantly looking around me. But I didn’t really care. Why would I care about nobodies on the street? I was only fixated on that mushroom. It kept calling to me. I knew that I would have to take it soon otherwise I’d lose my mind. I quickly arrived home and locked myself in my bedroom. I didn’t know what I was in for so I didn’t really want to take any chances. I took a deep breath and ingested it. At first, I did not feel that different. I felt like I was falling into a light trance, I felt weightless and floating around, but nothing out of the ordinary. I’ve experienced way too many trips like this before. As I thought, it was nothing special. I couldn’t believe that I even mustered up a fraction of hope. I already knew that it was nothing special but something about the look of it drew me in. I laughed at myself for letting myself feel like that. I guess it was overdue though. I felt so pessimistic for months so getting a sliver of hope for something all of a sudden wasn’t so odd. But deep down I didn’t even want to be hopeful or even get some sort of happiness for a couple of years now, ever since… Suddenly I felt like something was grabbing ahold of me as the darkness started to expand around me. Someone or something was choking me but there was nothing around me, only the darkness. I was floating inside an empty void for what seemed like weeks, the isolation slowly getting the best of me. I did start to feel a strange comfort inside though, I started to feel peaceful. That peace was shortly interrupted though. The voices came back. I could still make out the words but it was in some sort of language that I did not comprehend. At first, it was a few whispers, sentences but after a while, I could make out different voices, entire conversations, or what I assumed were conversations. The sounds were almost melodic and hauntingly beautiful. At first, I assumed that they were some sort of words but hearing them more clearly baffled me. They sounded like weird chants in an inhumane sound, odd humming sounds all being sung in unison. Strange how something so soothing and calm can give you a great feeling of uneasiness and dread. I was starting to get anxious and uneasy and at moments I thought there were shadows moving around me which would seem impossible since I was in complete darkness. But even in complete darkness, I could feel some eyes on me. There was something else in there with me and it terrified me. This went on for what I assume were a couple of days. After a few days, I started to see a slight figure in the distance. I was slowly being drawn to it. At first, I only made out the shape of it or him. I thought I was having a nightmare. Nothing else could really explain what I was seeing. The chanting that I had previously heard was coming from the three moon-sized orbs that were orbiting it. Only, they weren’t really orbs. They were people, all clumped up together bloody and with their bodies disfigured in one way or another. The sight was utterly disgusting. It was like they were all being pulled toward a center of mass and the bodies were just being smashed together. The most disturbing thing, however, was their smile. It was like they were enjoying themselves. As I was being drawn closer and closer I finally managed to find out what the sound was. They were all screaming in ecstasy and the sounds were getting louder and louder to the point where I could not stand it anymore. As for the figure in the middle, it was some sort of a tree, if you can even call it that. It was enormous, easily dwarfing the orbs in size. The roots were long and wide, drawing in the blood from the orbs of people. I was getting closer and closer and the sound was not the only thing that was intensifying and driving me insane. It was paired up with the awful stench coming out of the people. At one point they noticed me and all their gazes turned towards me. Their chanting changed from slow and melodic to just flat out shrieking. They seemed petrified by my presence. One managed to break free and it flew towards me.
- Get out of here! Get out of here now! You shouldn’t be here, you are disturbing our peace. You want to take it away from us, don’t you?
I tried to respond but I felt paralyzed. The disfigured person before me completely terrified me. He almost seemed possessed, contorting his body in ways that I never thought were possible but before he could speak to me again something pulled him back. A young woman came out of the darkness. She was stunning, looking like she was in her early twenties. Short, blonde and breathtaking eyes that looked straight into your soul. All of my negative feelings disappeared once I saw her. I’ve never seen someone as stunning as her. Her beauty was indescribable, truly heavenly. I’ve never really experienced a moment like that. Just looking at her made me forget everything around me. I managed to forget where I was for a moment. I’ve never seen something so pure. She was wearing a crown, made out of thorns. Blood was dripping down her face but she did not seem to even notice it. She approached the person in front of me smiling at him and gently caressing his head.
- No, please. I’ve been faithful, I only wanted to help! Please, I beg you.
- I know my dear. I am not mad but merely disappointed. It is all right though. You will be free again, but only through pain will you know absolution.
Her voice was hauntingly beautiful, so wonderful and melodic. As if she needed to have something else to enchant me with more. She suddenly started squeezing his head. The man let out a terrifying shriek but that creepy smile came out again. I felt like watching some twisted snuff film but with a much higher intensity. She gripped him tightly and opened up her mouth as wide as her torso. In an instant, he was gone, eaten in one bite. At that moment her eyes changed. It was just an instant but I noticed it. They were as black as the void but there was something in them, a faint red glow. I couldn’t really tell what it was though, it disappeared immediately. That’s when she turned her gaze to me and started to approach me. I wanted to run, but I was frozen. I was completely enchanted by her and my body was not letting me move. She hugged me. Her embrace was so warm, so reassuring. We started to kiss as she slid her hands down my pants. The ecstasy was overwhelming. We started making love. My skin was being peeled. The pain was excruciating but seeing her enjoy feasting on my organs turned me on even more. It was the fact that I or at least some part of me can be useful and make someone happy. I finally belonged somewhere, I finally belonged to someone. That fact alone made the pain worth it. We made love for hours until I was merely a fraction of what I used to be. However, I was immediately snapped out of it. Before I could realize I was back in my room. Judging by the time on my phone 15 minutes had barely passed. I was covered in sweat from head to toe, shivering on the ground. I needed to get more of whatever that was. I rushed back to the store but it was gone. There was an old dry cleaning store on the spot where it used to be. I kept coming back day in and day out but it was gone. Anyone that I asked about it seemed to just look at me weirdly like I was some sort of freak. But that was understandable. I barely ate and I hadn’t showered in weeks. I spent all my free time researching, trying to find whatever type of shroom that was. But there was nothing. I started to look into the tree. Maybe someone had seen it before, felt what I had. But that too had no luck. The only thing that I could find was some sort of weird conspiracy theory on how the government tries to hide drugs because they show us the truth or some bull. I was giving up. There was nothing left for me. I was contemplating suicide but I’m way too big of a pussy. Several weeks passed and it finally appeared. The store was back in that spot. I rushed inside. There she was, the same older woman from before. Of course, she was not surprised at all to see me back.
- Look at you. You are in an even worse shape than I expected. So how was your little trip?
- No time, please give me more. I need to get back there. I’ll do anything. Anything at all, please!
- Chill out, my man. There are some good news and bad news. The good news is that what you felt was real. Now I can’t know what you felt. Judging by your reaction you managed to find it. Some people are not as lucky as you and end up meeting the master and well… You really don’t want to know. The bad news is that there really isn’t any more of it. It’s one per person. I only said that because I wanted to know if you survived or not.
- What the hell do you mean one per person? You don’t understand I have to go back there. I need to.
- I’m sorry darling. Unfortunately, it’s the end of the line. You see what you experienced is something only a select few of mortals get to experience. It is a world beyond our imagination. I’ve been trying to go there ever since I found out about it. I spent countless hours experimenting and it seems that I have finally found the right mixture. Thank you for your help. I’m glad that you were the one that managed to survive. You see I tested a variety of herbs, potions, mushrooms and most of them just ended up costing people their lives. A small price to pay if you ask me. It was a pleasure meeting you. We might see each other again if you manage to find your way to the void.
She leaned in and gave me a kiss. As soon as our lips touched I felt my body going numb, I somehow fainted. When I came to the shop was gone yet again and it never reappeared. It’s been a year now and I’ve been visiting the spot each night. I’m not going to give up though. I will be back there someday, even if it ends up costing me my sanity.